


Jade Harley User's Manual

by achromaticBibliophile



Series: Homestuck Unit Manuals [4]
Category: Homestuck
Genre: Depression, Grimbark, Units fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-13
Updated: 2020-02-13
Packaged: 2021-02-28 02:40:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,946
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22696507
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/achromaticBibliophile/pseuds/achromaticBibliophile
Summary: Thanks here from WHAT PUMPKIN, the acclaimed company responsible for HOMESTUCK and all it’s various products, for purchasing the latest in our creations: Your very own HOMESTUCK UNIT! This particular UNIT, in case you haven’t gleaned from the title of this handy manual, is JADE HARLEY, everyone’s favorite WITCH of SPACE and dog tiered gal! She’s quite the friendly girl, but her bite and bark are on the same level of damage and she can be pushed to use either, so we do heavily encourage you to flip through this handy guide about her, even though this will probably end up on a bookshelf far from reach or underneath the couch gathering dust even before you peel off the tape binding the box close.
Series: Homestuck Unit Manuals [4]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1610812
Comments: 4
Kudos: 7





	Jade Harley User's Manual

**Jade Harley User’s Manual**

Thanks here from WHAT PUMPKIN, the acclaimed company responsible for HOMESTUCK and all it’s various products, for purchasing the latest in our creations: Your very own HOMESTUCK UNIT! This particular UNIT, in case you haven’t gleaned from the title of this handy manual, is JADE HARLEY, everyone’s favorite WITCH of SPACE and dog tiered gal! She’s quite the friendly girl, but her bite and bark are on the same level of damage and she can be pushed to use either, so we do heavily encourage you to flip through this handy guide about her, even though this will probably end up on a bookshelf far from reach or underneath the couch gathering dust even before you peel off the tape binding the box close. 

**Legal Asscovering Agenda**

So, just to lay down the ground rules and answer any moral/ethical questions one might have, all HOMESTUCK UNITS are homegrown, ecto-biology created individuals all capable of rational thought, expression of self and existence, and personality. No humans, animals, insects, plants, aliens, etc. were harmed in the making of these individuals and no mindscrewing of innocent individuals like a cheap sci-fi series occurred either. Not only do our units look like their comic counterparts, but they think and act like them as well! How we achieved this is waaay too technical and complex and frankly boring to describe so I’m just gonna say this: We did it, there was green slime involved, and now we have these guys. Look you can prostrate in front of us and weep tears of joy later, right now I have a manual to monologue while the fresh meat-I mean newest employee {I can see you rolling your eyes Emma} faithfully transcribes my words for your reading pleasure.   
This however doesn’t mean that your unit might not have a negative reaction to learning that they were created with the sole purpose of replicating their fictional persona from a webcomic {Last time we tried to explain the situation to a prototype...eh, that’s not important and nobody died so it’s fine. Yes Emma, I know our lab got wrecked and you were terrified, so were half of the other guys}. So when the time comes to have the sit down to explain the birds, bees, and ecto-biology machines to them, be patient, kind, and preferably in a situation where physical harm isn’t a concern.   
So yeah, back to the moral stuff so our lawyers are happy with us. While a majority of our beloved cast are around the 13 YEAR OLD marker, {or 6 SWEEPS OLD in the case of the TROLLS}, WP has taken the liberty to adjust the UNITS ages to a more appropriate and less creepy 21 years {10 SWEEPS}. This is in part due to unfortunate implications and situations that may arise with users interacting with our units, who would have been underaged individuals. Also in part because it is really sketchy when you unbox a literal teenager from our shipping. It’s weird enough doing it to an adult, a kid makes it even more squiwcky. Don’t fret and wail at the thought of your problematic fav no longer being exactly how you envisioned them (they probably don’t as they are anyway), their personalities are unchanged and this age change has been done with both you and the unit’s favor in mind. It also allows the unit to have more freedom in their new life with you, such as driving a car, getting a job, going to Nickel Shot Night, ect. Oh yeah, your UNIT is totally capable of getting a job {Keeping it is another story…} if they so desire and can greatly assist you in the running of your household, but we nor you run slave labor so don’t be an ass. We’ll list out some possibilities for each in case you and your new chum decide to flip through the classifieds or troll around some sites one day.   
And since every single one of those damn shippers want to know, yes your UNIT has fully anatomical parts associated with their species and gender and NO we here at WP are not going to describe the intricacies of TROLL genitalia for you. What’s in their pants is their own business {unless they want to show you}. The normal rules of society still apply: no non-con touching, no groping, and no otherwise inappropriate touching or actions without their explicit consent. {Good luck trying to use coercion on any of them anyway, you HAVE read the webcomic right? These guys can get violent fast and you’ll have no one to blame but yourself}. However, romance waits for neither man nor troll and our UNITS are fully capable of developing feelings for others, whether it’s another UNIT, the people around them, and even you. {Another reason for the age up too}. They can be romanced if you so desire but we recommend that you wait on this until they learn the whole “You’re fictional constructs from a webcomic given life, blah blah blah” since that can be a breach of trust and lead to relationship issues galore {Jeez Emma this is getting boring can’t we skip to the good stuff? I’m sure the readers are thinking the same thing}.   
Good news folks, we’re just about done with all this legal asscovering according to Emma {and for once those were her words not mine!} and we’ll be right on the road shortly! Just remember: We here at WHAT PUMPKIN are not responsible for any BLOODSHED, MAIMING, MUTILATION, SICK FIRES, CHAOS, and/or SHENANIGANS that may occur with the purchase of our products! As the user of our amazing service, you are responsible for the CARE, WELLBEING, and SAFETY of your UNIT and any failure to properly tend to them will lead to UNFORTUNATE IMPLICATIONS and even REMOVAL of your UNIT. Any and all DAMAGE that may occur to you, your property, and others will likewise be attributed to you. Now, onto the good shit! Take it away Emma! 

**Unit Information**  
Unit Name: Jade Harley {This is beyond frustrating to write, every single freaking time, but the lawyers insist and Emma gives me the unholy offspring of the Evil Eye and a stink eye so I’m bound to do this. I’m sure none of you are enjoying it either.}  
Additionally Answers To: Jadie, Green Gal {Refrain from calling her anything related to dogs, like Fido and Lassie, that will probably earned you an annoyed Jade}  
Species: Human-Dog hybrid {FINALLY something NEW to write! Whew! And yes, she’s got those white ears and MAYBE a tail, idk Luis has been hemming and hawing about that addition.}  
Classpect: Witch of Space {Settings, just go. She’s got a few nifty special features too.}  
Age: 21  
Date of Birth: December 1st, 1995  
Pesterchum Handle:  gardenGnostic [GG] 

**Your Unit comes with the following**  
One set of casual clothes {we’re being generous and giving you BOTH a Bec shirt and the classical sciency-shirt with the rest of her outfit}  
One pair of glasses  
One Dress of Eclectica  
One Three in the Morning Dress {Gotta have that fancy dress for special occasions. And TWO epic outfits for your Jade? Aren’t we generous? No Emma, it’s not because no one could make their minds up and didn’t want a repeat of you going ham on everyone so it ended in a compromise.}  
One pair of God Tier pjs: Witch of Space edition  
One Lunchtop {Complete with the adorable Squiddles and the old 3D holograms, just for funsies. Just be careful when you’re playing scary video games, its way too immersive.}  
One Squiddlejacket {Super cozy and stylish, and also can be used as a computer somehow. We shit you not, though we’re not going into details.}  
One pair of Squiddlesneaks {Can you ever have too many computers? We think not! And its one per foot!}  
One hunting rifle {And don’t worry, not only is this thing not loaded, you need to buy your own ammo, but we’ve also included a license for Jade to own this and all other of her nifty guns, as will all future gun-wielding UNITS we’ve got in the lineup. And yes, Jade is licensed to carry and use a weapon, just need to go for a shooting test every now and then.}  
One Girl’s Best Friend {Diamonds and guns are the accessory of choice for a young lass.}  
One DVD collection of the 2000-2004 series known as The Squiddles {Honestly, this was even harder than figuring out ecto-biology, which makes no sense to any of us. Won’t bore you with the specifics, but it had all of us tearing our hair out.}  
One pair of Squiddles Toys {Complete with magnets sewn inside so that they can cuddle. I’ve got two right now and they’re just dawww.}  
One electric bass  
One fluet {Jade’s actually terrible at this instrument, so expect some out of tune tooting when she attempts to play it.}

 **Unit’s Settings**  
Energetic (Default)  
Creative (Default)  
Weird Science (Default)  
Canine Instincts   
Lonely   
Grimbark (Locked)  
Trickster (Locked)

Jade is a very cheerful ENERGETIC person by default, super bubbly and has a tendency to pepper her communication with lots of exclamation points and emoticons. Passionate about all her favorite things, you’ll probably end up roped into a bunch of cartoon marathons and heated discussions about her favorite fandoms. She’ll be gungho to join you on any of your own interests as well and would love to do group activities with you, your friends, and other possible UNITS you may have/end up having. **WARNING:** Despite her cheerful nature, she’s also incredibly passionate and not above arguing, welling, and minor name calling if she’s riled up, so best be warned and develop a thick skin to it.  
CREATIVE is pretty cut and dry, as Jade is a talented young lass with an interest in drawing and other fun crafts and hobbies. She’s perfectly content to get out a stack of papers and colored pencils or crayons, but would enjoy messing around with drawing programs and a tablet if you have that handy. She’s also a passionate bass player and an amatuer flutist {If you read above, we included both} so be sure to have your home filled with music and see if you can’t join in the jam session too, Jade would love a partner.   
WEIRD SCIENCE is not only just a fun Oingo Boingo reference, but also referring to Jade’s knack for various scientific fields. Whether it be mechanics, nuclear physics, or her passion for botany, Jade will sometimes be overtaken by the urge to commit Non-Mad Science. We suggest prepping a worksite for her somewhere in or around your home and investing in some of the stuff required to pursue said hobbies, and it doesn’t need to be expensive junk metal, scraps, and broken tech will be just as fun for her to work on as the fancy-smancy shit. Watch her go wild and have fun, maybe end up with some cool new toys or interesting flowers.   
Probably not much of a setting per say, but CANINE INSTINCTS are the result of her going GOD TIER when her DREAMSELF was combined with her pet dog and guardian, BECQUEREL {And if you want me to clarify that confusing string of words, I’ll have to whip out the handy-dandy map from my backpack, point out the location for you to look it up, and let you go exploring for said answers at the HOMESTUCK WIKI or HOMESTUCK WEBCOMIC.} This may result in her being a bit aggressive towards felines, the occasional bark and growl, and wariness of the mailman as well as a love for playing fetch and catch. But don’t try to give her a Milkbone dude, that shits tasteless and doesn’t fly. Also, chocolate equals death or at least severe sickness, so let that be its own **WARNING.**  
This setting may seem a surprise to you, but if anyone has played her PESTERQUEST route, it’s quite obvious Jade can put the LONELY in the Loneliest Girl in the World title. Oh she puts on quite the charming smile and tries to avoid those thoughts, but having been brought up largely on her own with only a canine guardian and some internet chums as company and then the events of SBURB with losing both her brother and ex-boyfriend only to be mostly alone for three years, she can be quite the sad person. Its when all things come crashing in on her that she can become mopey, especially if you have to leave her by her lonesome for hours at a time. The best way to get her out of this is to cheer her up, maybe arrange some fun activities between the two of you to show you still care about her and apologize for these solemn hours by herself. **WARNING:** While not a life threatening scenario for her, prolonged time spent in LONELY mode, given her background, can often lead to real depression if you’re not careful.   
GRIMBARK is something so serious we’re going to be hella liberal with the **WARNING** signs here. In this state, Jade becomes mind controlled by someone who forces her into a far more aggressive state, letting her wild dog instincts loose, and making her use her vast Witch of Space and secondhand First Guardian powers {Hint, hint, look below for more info!} for evil purposes. **WARNING:** This can only be done by someone with powers to manipulate and control animals and it’s NOT a TAVROS NITRAM. It’s the ol’ fishbitch at the helm, turning our precious, sweet Jade into a ferocious beast at her command {Which isn’t something we ever plan on happening, but this is being included as a **WARNING** all the same}. So that’s a major problem for all of us, especially with Jade’s warping powers. IMMEDIATELY contact us at WHAT PUMPKIN in as stealthy of a way you can {Those keen ears of hers are not just for cosmetic purposes} and if you have any additional UNITS, try and make a break for it with them, preferably if you’re accompanied by a JOHN EGBERT, ROXY LALONDE, and/or a VRISKA SERKET {Once we finish cracking the old troll genome} as these three are most likely to deal with her due to either their GOD TIER CLASSPECT powers or a CERULEAN BLOOD manipulative power. **WARNING:** We’re not fucking around, you watch yourself.  
As with all other HOMESTUCK KID UNITS, TRICKSTER mode, despite the fact the way to trigger it’s not invented (But legal insists we include this as the norm) is locked to prevent mass panic and shenanigans. Think a sugar high times a hundred, with lots of giggles, mischief, and goofy antics that could be so contagious a mere peck on the cheek or a swift kick to the ol’ groin could be all you need to get swept up in the saccharine tsunami. Try your best to avoid a TRICKSTER Jade and be prepared to help her recooperate once she settles down. **WARNING:** If TRICKSTER SETTING persists longer than 24 hours, hit up old Luis at XXX-XXX-0413 and see if he can give you a clue.

 **Classpect**  
I want to believe in you, I really do, but I’m just gonna assume for the sake of this manual that you know the same about Classpecting as a cat knows about astrophysics. So here’s the skinny: Classes are the titles that give a quest and a challenge for growth for their respective player, while aspects focuses on personality, representing a theme from our amazing Aspect Wheel {As seen on our fantastic EXTENDED ZODIAC quiz.}  
To get rid of any misconceptions and lies fairytales may have taught, Witches aren’t those hunched old Baga Yagas flying around on brooms cursing poor princes into frogs. Jade actually quite likes frogs! Witches here are known as individuals capable of manipulating their aspect or manipulating through their aspect. Space is all about creation, mass, existence, and frogs {It makes more sense if you read Homestuck, go do it. Don’t let your memes be dreams}. So Jade is able to manipulate creation and mass, such as her sweet ability to shrink and grow things at will, as well as a slew of other nifty magical abilities. Jade additionally has the ability to warp herself at will anywhere she desires in a flash of green light, as well as a keen sense of smell. This isn’t related to her Classpect but that she was combined with her Eternal Guardian of a dog. {NO. Not explaining. Jade is part dog now, she has been for a while now. If you really have a hankering itch to understand, Go. Read. Homestuck!}

 **Potential Jobs**  
As with the other units, we’ve helpfully included a passage about what jobs we think would best suit our favorite dog-loving sharpshooter!  
 _Vet_  
Jade absolutely adores animals of all shapes and sizes, so it’s no wonder she’d want to be involved in making sure these cute {and not so cute} critters are in tip top shape. While this is more a career that has to have a college degree and extended training/volunteer work with licensed professionals, it’s a great goal to shoot for and Jade will no doubt be a very talented caretaker to fauna, although she may clash with her feline guests.   
_Horticulturist_  
Jade has a greenthumb {along with her usual green theme} and a deep passion for understanding, so this all ties into a curiosity of flora. She’s not just limited to pretty flowers either and is willing to grow everything and everything, from fruits and veggies like pumpkins {Her favorite gourd though they have a tendency to disappear} to more exotic breeds if she can get her grabby hands on some intriguing specimens. She may need a degree for some more elaborate positions, but Jade will be quite happy to put on a wide brim hat and get a job at a nursery or even set up her own allotment plot on your property and dish out some delicious veggies.   
_Scientist_  
Again, you’re going to have to set her up at a college to become a professional, but Jade is very passionate about the sciences, particularly in nuclear physics, mechanics, and the like. Even without the expensive education, Jade’s got the knowledge and know-how about a lot of fields and may tinker around a bit in whatever free space you have, whether its a garage, extra bedroom, or shed. Just give her some access to the internet and resources and she’ll get right down to inventing business.   
_Bassist_  
Jade’s handy dandy bass which she has mastered {Extra additions aside that make it impossible to play} and she’s ready to earn some tips performing around town. Whether it be at a smoky nightclub {unlikely}, a scenic park, or a busy sidewalk in a city, Jade will be eager to try her hand at performing for the public. 

**Unlocking Your Unit**  
We at WHAT PUMPKIN have made sure that your UNIT has been packed up tighter than a paperclip barely holding together the massive hunk of a college student’s final paper and research, one solitary piece of metal preventing everything from flying around and prompting a mental breakdown. One of the safeguards we included to prevent jostling or some curious mailworker from getting a peak in the box and discovering a person inside is that the UNIT has to unlock something from within to fully get it open {We always have to make things more complex and confusing}. So here are a few options we’ve come up with in order to get Jade to rip her way through and meet you.  
 **Option 1**  
Go out to any old pet store or just raid your pets toys and find a good old squeaky toy. Give that sucker a couple good squeezes until it’s squealing like a snitch trying to avoid jailtime, making themselves an enemy to whatever powerful criminal they tattled on and end up going to sleep with the fishies {Okay I admit that one was a stretch}. Jade will emerge from that box in all her feral glory, barking up a storm and immediately pounce for that toy. You may want to throw it before she gets out or else you might be up with a broken rib or bruised spleen.  
 **Option 2**  
Announce a nostalgia watch-a-thon, focusing on loveable children’s cartoons and movies {Barbie isn’t something she’d be too familiar with, but that franchise just poured out a bunch of sappy, feel-good movies that will sure to intrigue Jade}. Jade’s a sucker for that kind of genre and will eagerly bound outta the box to join in the fun. Prep some snacks and drinks, cause you’re gonna be on the couch for a good while.   
**Option 3**  
Express an interest in being tutored in the sciences or arts {Since our girl is gifted in both regards} and Jade will be more than happy to emerge and give you some schooling on nuclear physics, mechanics, or drawing techniques. There will be an impromptu slideshow somehow, with diagrams, charts, and demonstrations, and possibly a chance of some freehand practice if you want to bone up on art. Regardless of which subject you choose for some mentorship, it’ll be a fun learning and bonding experience for you and Jade.

 **Relationships with Other Units**  
Jade’s a friendly girl with some great chums and we’re happy to help outline some of said relationships with her fellow humans so that you can know what you’re getting yourself into if you plan on getting or already have some other UNITS. {Our new categories between the HUMAN and TROLL lines is to help with the structure of things and we'll, or Emma tbh, will be updating things in this section as we continue to roll out additional UNITS.}

 _Humans_  
 **John Egbert**  
Jade’s ecto-brother due to SBURB ecto-biology nonsense and these two are extremely close, both sharing a silly and friendly attitude on life. Jade was extremely excited at the prospect of meeting him in the game and went all out on making a great birthday gift with some help from her penpal. However, Jade lost her version of John and was left by her lonesome for three years, so when reunited with him, Jade may be a bit clingy and protective of him, even when she knows he can handle himself. Still, these two are going to be thick as thieves and having a ball, just pop in some goofy movies, break out the gameboard, and settle in for a fun-filled night.  
 **Rose Lalonde**  
Another great friend of Jade’s, Rose may act a bit more reserve compared to Jade’s enthusiasm, but there’s no doubt they’re quite close. Rose has expressed skepticism over Jade’s previous ability to see the future, but wholeheartedly believed Jade about her prediction of being reunited with her beloved cat Jasper, showing Rose can set aside her disbelief to listen to her friend. Additionally, Jade was the one to inform Rose about her Mom’s death, showing a great deal of concern and sympathy, with Rose later admitting Jade handled it well given the circumstances. While they were separated for three years, these two will be quick to reunite and jumpstart their friendship, possibly with some Squiddles watching, with Rose critiquing everything and Jade expressing her nostalgic love for the series. Perhaps they’ll even let you join in on the fun!  
 **Dave Strider**  
The final chum in the Beta kids rolodex for Jade, Dave is a cool cat who nevertheless enjoys chatting and hanging out with her. She’s even managed to get him to create a fursona, even if he claims it was for ironic purposes, showing that he wants to get involved with her interests. They’ve both shown to be protective of the other, with Dave going out of his way to protect her in times of need and Jade giving Dave lil corpsesmooch to get his Dreamself up and at ‘em. Due to her past relationship with Davesprite {We are not letting that bird outta the bag, so you’re on your own to research it}, Jade may have some negative feelings towards Dave but also be anxious about him since Davesprite died along with John, leaving her by herself. Both might add some tension to the bond between Jade and Dave in addition to their three year separation, but once they hash things out with one another and maybe doing a jam session, they’ll be right as rain and back to their old friendship.  
 **Jane Crocker**  
Alright, time to guesstimate on potential friendships with the Alphas! {Yes Emma, I know they know each other somewhat, but we still got to figure things out for them.} Jane is one of the genetic donors to Jadie, as well as the Scratched version of Nannasprite, so Jade has some experience hanging out with her, in a sense. Jane and Nannasprite share a lot of the same humor and kind personality, although the latter has a lot more world wisdom and SBURB knowledge, so it’s a definite yes that Jade will enjoy hanging out with her. Additionally, they were able to meet and hang out in a dreambubble with Calliope, building their camaraderie already through troll cosplay and chatting. Once they’re reunited, just let them chit-chat and chill, maybe bake a cake with one another to get the friendship levels soaring.   
**Jake English**  
Jade’s ecto-father and the Scratched version of her Grandpa, Jade has had quite the correspondence with Jake prior to SBURB’s beginning, mainly through letters and packages they were able to send between their universes due to some nifty gadgetry. They both hold fondness for one another as a result and the fact they’re the alternate versions of people they admired certainly helps. However, while in the Grimbark zone, she said a few nasty things to/about Jake and she needs to reach out and make amends. Additionally, Jade’s Grandpa was a bit neglectful while he was alive {This is the reason we don’t let babies play around with flintlock pistols} and she may hold a bit of resentment over the fact he died while she was so young, leaving a parental void, which she may unconsciously project onto Jake. We at WHAT PUMPKIN however believe in the power of friendship {Or Emma does, I just believe that you can’t break up the good ol’ Harley-English bond} and that these two will work through their differences and unlock a higher tier of friendship.  
 **Roxy Lalonde**  
While Jade and Roxy haven’t had much, if any, canon interactions between one another, with their mutual love for cuddly critters and science, it’s a shoe-in that these two gals will become great friends. Even if they may argue about the superiority between dogs and cats, they will nevertheless bond over a love of plushies and enjoying nostalgia content, Jade on the more old school cartoons while Roxy loves the retro video games and Nintendo gear. Their passion for science might mean a bit of rivalry to pull off the cooler invention, but they’ll be more than happy to assist one another with a project as well.   
**Dirk Strider**  
{God Emma why is this so freaking hard? I don’t care if this is the last I have no fucking idea what these two would be like and I’m bullshitting out of my ass because who the hell knows what’s going on in Dirk’s mind. Shit’s more secretive than the one who killed Princess Diana, though my money is still on Mulaney being some sort of sleeper agent. Yeah, yeah, just extrapolate} Okay, so no canon content between Dirk and Jade, besides some comments between Dirk and Dave about getting to know Dave’s chums. Emma and I have been hashing it out a lot, and the way we figure, there might be some tension and awkwardness initially but they got potential. With their mutual interest in mechanics, these two are likely to get a healthy rivalry of their inventions but willing to share the workspace and may offer some roundabout advice laced as critiquing and snark. They may also bond over anime, Jade will probably be drawn into the more old-school, cartoony style stuff while Dirk will ironically watch it with her. It will probably be one of the harder friendships to foster, but I can guarantee an interesting pair of pals once they get to know one another.

 _Trolls  
_ **Karkat Vantas**  
As with the other kids, Jade and Karkat didn’t have a good start at the friendship station awaiting with their boarding passes. Jade had a lot of suspicion and negative experience due to the trolling from the whole TROLL lineup and Karkat took out a lot of anger on her and the other KIDS at times. She didn’t really buy it when a future Karkat appeared {After taking some levels in kindness, enough to want to apologize} who was on better terms with the Jade of the future before a current Karkat railed on him and set off the building fuse on Jade to screech at the two of them. Her explosion at him let her work through a lot of negative build up she’d been going through and led to Karkat fully apologizing after the death of her dreamself and arrival into the game. From there, their relationship steadily improved enough with Karkat becoming Jade’s patron troll and providing some advice {Which given his role with frog duty skills helping Kanaya, was actually pretty solid shit.} Now that they can meet up in person without being manipulated by HIC or the stress of the game looming over them, Jade and Karkat will be able to chill out and hang in peace, no doubt combining their interests to find some appropriate activities to bond over. Jade might be a bit clingy at times, due to her lonely nature and previous experience of losing people close to her, but she’ll hopefully tone it down after a while.

{We at What Pumpkin would like to add that, should future lines of UNITS be developed and make it to the market, we will send an updated version of the Relationships with Other Units sections to further outline their bonds if they are individuals your UNITS have interacted with. If they haven’t, well then you’re screwed and are going to have to watch how that weird shit plays out.}

 **Troubleshooting**  
Jade's not the most problematic by far, but we're giving you some potential problems you may run across and how best to solve them. If we haven't managed to put down the exact one you may end up troubled by, tough luck.   
**I have no idea why but my Jade went all grey and leaking green sparks and got super aggressive and rude! Also she’s Way more prone to barking and snarling.**  
Oooh that’s not good. Since that’s a clear sign of going GRIMBARK, there’s a good chance that she’s somehow ended up under the control of someone capable of communing with and controlling animals {Hint hint, it’s the BATTERWITCH. Granted we haven’t even designed ANCESTOR TROLLS. Yet.} As its usually someone with nefarious intentions {Sweet, precious TAVROS NITRAM would never consciously choose to harm an animal or use them for evil purposes, the boy can’t even kill the IMPS on his own planet!} you should probably book it outta there {for all the good that will do} and phone us immediately. Knocking her out is a potential way to incapacitate her temporarily, but good luck getting the drop on a Witch of Space. Having a VRISKA SERKET UNIT {Once she’s an option} will make it more feasible since she can cause Jade to go to sleep in a second while a DAVE STRIDER with his time travel properties can be super helpful as well. Possibly try to distract her with some dog biscuits or something if you have neither UNIT available, as she’s still affected by her canine instincts and may give you a moment or two to run if she’s distracted {However far you get though, you’ll end up in her clutches once more, so make those moments count.}  
 **Does Jade technically have to go to the doctors or the vets since she’s dog tier?**  
Yes.   
Okay no, in all seriousness, illness isn’t really a major concern for those who go god tier {At least it shouldn’t be...Emma double check with Luis-Oh you already did? Sweet.} Okay, Luis says minor colds and infections aren’t a worry but serious poisonings, major illnesses, and broken bones ect are a bit more troubling so you may need to seek outside help {This goes for any of your units by the way! Death might be cheap in my comic, but it’s not the answer even if god tiered folk can be brought back. WP is alerted every time a UNIT dies, remember? So don’t just take her out behind the old woodshed and put a gun between her eyes everytime she gets a broken bone, it wouldn’t do you any good anyway} As for which place you go to, eh, I don’t think it’s a problem to just take her to the doc’s, though it’s advisable to have a LIFE PLAYER handle the treatment as a precaution in case you don’t want to get pulled over for having a girl with actual doggy ears unless she can shrink ‘em down to not be noticeable. Or you can convince the doc she’s just a furry who refuses to take her headband off.   
**Jade’s been moping around the house lately, I’ve got to work longer hours and worried she’s not doing well. What can I do to help?**  
Ah that would be Jade’s LONELY mode kicking in. With her very isolated background with only internet friends to chat to beyond a teleporting, OP dog, Jade isn’t much used to being around people and the fact that she lost her brother and ex-boyfriend on her three-year journey, she can be a bit clingy when she can finally be around people again. While she is allowed outta the house {At least, I HOPE you’re letting her explore civilization and having the option of meeting other people}, she might be wary to befriend others due to her canine features and since you’re one of the few stable people in her life, she greatly misses you. Try to figure out ways to work around your job, maybe help her find a job nearby your workplace so that you can both commute together, and above all try to make the time in your life to show Jade that you love and appreciate her. She will greatly appreciate it. Having other UNITS around will certainly help her out when you’re too busy to chill. 

Don't forget to hit up Luis here at WHAT PUMPKIN HQ and the Problem Solving hotline at XXX-XXX-0413 for any other querries and problems that may be stoking your desire to punch in that phone number into your device. Luis actually has more experience working with Jade than most of the others, so you should be in good hands even more than usual!

 **Final Words**  
We at WHAT PUMPKIN want to express our gratitude for your continued support of our company and purchasing our JADE HARLEY UNIT. She might be an energetic handful at times, but Jade is such a sweetheart how could anyone hate her {unless you have some canine allergy, which is an understandable biological concern, or an absolute monster, in which case it’s all on you}. She’ll be so happy to make a new friend and will become your new earnestwile companion, spending your times drawing fursonas, working in a garden, and more.

**Author's Note:**

> Beta kids done! Actually really satisfied to get this far and ready to tackle the Alphas! Thanks again to botgal for all the advice and editing help. Hope that this series is as entertaining for you as it is for me to write, kudos and comments are always welcome!


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